At 62 my appreciation for At Seventeen grows

“So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen”

– Janis Ian

I read an interview of Janis Ian where she said “At Seventeen” was not a sad song to her.  Ugly ducklings turn into swans.   (I heard this song again for the first time in years and am amazed how deep and timeless it is.)

 

manners of correcting another

The first rule in good manners is to never publicly correct another person’s bad manners/etiquette.   The core of good etiquette is respect for others.  Publicly correcting people is not only disrespectful and humiliating to that person, it advertises the correcting person as an arrogant boorish ass.

Robert Bubba Miller – 2014

The etiquette for correcting another person’s grammar is that you don’t, not unless you have blanket permission and a compelling reason to do so. Even then, never interrupt a train of thought or a serious conversation. The English language has been around for 600 years in its present form, give or take a century, depending on which linguistic historian you ask, and is the dominant language worldwide for business, science, and politics. It is, in short, sturdier than the average friendship and in need of less coddling.

Some people correct others’ grammar more out of unthinking habit than out of a deep protective instinct toward the mother tongue. It’s a verbal tic with them, as swearing or automatically making wisecracks is for other people. As with these other peccadilloes, ignore it if it doesn’t bother you, and if it does, gently register an objection.

Miss Manner, The Boston Globe, August 5, 2007 – Miss Conduct is Robin Abrahams, a Cambridge-based writer with a PhD in psychology

 

It is considered a worse breech of etiquette to point out someone else’s mistake than the mistake itself, no matter what is is!

Amanda Gamble – 1/28/2006

creativity

It is suggested that boredom begets creativity*.   My mother would often say “necessity is the mother of invention”**.   They present apparent opposite views on creativity.   Or, … both attentive activity AND attentive inactivity are the parents of creative thinking.   It is our incognizant state while always pursuing the unimportant that usurp the creative mind.

*Austin Kleon, Steal like an Artist

**Evelyn Marie Helen (O’Conner) Miller, 1915 – 2007

Influence

You do not get to chose to influence or impact those you come into contact as this is inevitable – you only get to chose how.
[After attending my 20th year high school reunion and realizing the (mostly positive) impact I had on so many people and the influence they in turn had on me.  Virtually all of this contact was not made with intent to impact or influence, but it did nonetheless.]